In Episode 25 of Divorce Diaries: Lessons from the Trenches, host Cary Jacobson—attorney and mediator at Jacobson Family Law—welcomes divorce coach Tiffany Colburn to discuss navigating emotional abuse and high-conflict co-parenting. Drawing from both personal experience and professional expertise, Tiffany offers practical tools for those dealing with manipulative ex-partners, chronic conflict, and co-parenting challenges that don’t end with the divorce decree.
Why Documentation Is Critical
One of the most powerful tools in any high-conflict divorce is documentation. Tracking patterns—missed visitations, concerning communication, changes in a child’s behavior—can provide clarity, support legal proceedings, and protect your mental health. Tools like physical planners or co-parenting apps can help you consistently record important details like school events, medical appointments, and custody exchanges.
Spotting the Signs of Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse isn’t always obvious. It may include controlling behavior, financial manipulation, gaslighting, or using children as leverage. These subtle but harmful actions can erode your confidence and complicate post-divorce communication. Recognizing these behaviors is the first step to reclaiming your sense of safety and autonomy.
Boundaries Matter
Tiffany discusses how important it is to set and maintain boundaries—especially when the other party thrives on chaos. Many co-parents feel pressured to be flexible, even when doing so harms their own well-being or undermines court orders. Upholding boundaries isn’t about being uncooperative—it’s about protecting your peace and your child’s best interests.
Tech Tools to Support Peaceful Co-Parenting
Apps like OurFamilyWizard provide structure and reduce conflict by logging communication, calendars, and expenses all in one place. Features like built-in tone monitoring help prevent inflammatory messages, while giving both parties and their attorneys access to accurate, time-stamped records.
Communication Strategies That Work
High-conflict individuals often thrive on emotional responses. That’s why Tiffany recommends the “yellow rock” approach: stay neutral, firm, and respectful while keeping all communication focused on the child. This method helps reduce escalation and protects you from being pulled into unnecessary drama.
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💡 For coaching support and resources from Tiffany Colburn, visit myhiddenscars.com.