Most divorce conversations focus on surviving the legal process — but what happens once the paperwork is signed? On this episode of the Drama-Free Divorce Podcast, host Cary Jacobson talks with Lois Weinblatt, a Vision Coach and founder of True North Visionaries, about how to start over after divorce with intention instead of just relief.
Lois has spent more than 12 years coaching people through major life transitions, helping them get clear on what success actually looks like in their next chapter — and she brought that same lens to this conversation about divorce.
Why Fear Drives Divorce Drama
Cary and Lois dig into something we see constantly in family law: people making decisions from a place of fear rather than clarity. Fear of financial insecurity, fear of being alone, fear of judgment — it’s often what fuels the most contentious and expensive parts of a divorce. Lois explains what it looks like to approach a transition, including divorce, from Vision instead of fear, and why that shift changes everything downstream, including the legal process itself.
Redefining Your Identity After Divorce
For anyone who’s been married a long time, identity often gets tangled up in being a spouse or a parent in a particular lifestyle. When that ends, it can feel like starting from zero. Lois walks through her process for helping clients redefine what success means to them personally — separate from the template society hands us — and what people typically discover about themselves once they do that work.
Using Your Vision as a Decision-Making Tool
One of the most practical takeaways from this episode: how to start over after divorce doesn’t happen in one big leap — it happens through dozens of smaller decisions, often made quickly and under stress. Lois shares how having a clear Vision acts as a filter for those decisions, and gives real examples of what that looks like in practice.
Moving Through Resistance
Even once someone can see what they want their next chapter to look like, resistance often shows up anyway. Lois normalizes this as part of meaningful change and offers guidance for anyone who feels stuck between knowing what they want and actually moving toward it.
Where to Start When You Don’t Know How to Start Over After Divorce
If you’re in the middle of divorce, or just coming out the other side and feeling untethered, Lois shares one or two concrete first steps for beginning to build your own Vision — and talks about when it makes sense to bring in a Vision Coach.
Listen to the full episode [here/embed player] to hear the complete conversation, including Lois’s own story of building a life in Spain as a direct result of her Vision work.
Need legal guidance or mediation support as you navigate your own divorce? Schedule a consultation with Jacobson Family Law.