In episode 33 of Divorce Diaries: Lessons from the Trenches Cary Jacobson, attorney and mediator with Jacobson Family Law is joined by Melissa Murphy Pavone, Certified Financial Planner (CFP®) and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®). This episode explores the critical role that financial clarity plays during divorce, helping individuals make confident and informed choices as they transition into a new chapter of life.
The Financial Side of Divorce
Divorce is not only a legal and emotional process—it is also a financial separation. For many, one of the most overwhelming aspects of divorce is understanding the numbers: what you own, what you owe, how much you earn, how much you spend, and your credit score. These five key figures provide the foundation for sound decision-making and help ensure that any settlement supports long-term stability.
By establishing financial transparency early on, individuals are better equipped to evaluate options, avoid “divorce remorse,” and create agreements that are sustainable well into the future.
Common Challenges in Dividing Assets
A major hurdle in many divorces is dividing complex assets such as family businesses, retirement accounts, or the marital home. While these may appear equal in value on paper, not all assets are created equal. For example, cash, equity, and retirement funds may each have different tax implications and levels of accessibility. Without considering these nuances, a seemingly fair trade today could create financial burdens later.
One of the most common dilemmas is whether one spouse should keep the house. While emotionally appealing, keeping a home on a single income may not be financially feasible once maintenance, repairs, and long-term costs are factored in. Evaluating the “what if” scenarios—such as a boiler replacement or roof repair—helps reveal whether holding onto the home is truly sustainable.
Creative Solutions for Families
Not every divorce settlement requires selling the family home immediately. In some cases, especially when children are close to finishing school, couples may choose to co-own the property temporarily. This arrangement allows both parties to benefit from favorable mortgage terms while delaying the financial and emotional impact of selling. With clear boundaries and defined timelines, co-ownership can provide a practical bridge between stability and independence.
This kind of creativity also applies to other areas of financial division. Approaching the process with a willingness to explore alternatives can help both parties protect their financial health while minimizing conflict.
The Importance of Professional Support
Divorce involves overlapping legal, emotional, and financial layers. Having the right professionals involved at the right time can make a significant difference. Financial experts who specialize in divorce can work as neutrals in mediation or serve as advocates for one party, ensuring that all financial details are carefully considered before agreements are finalized. This support not only reduces the likelihood of future disputes but also empowers individuals to move forward with confidence.
Moving Forward
Gaining financial clarity during divorce is about more than balancing numbers—it’s about creating a sustainable future. Taking time to pause, evaluate options, and understand the long-term consequences of financial decisions can help reduce stress and prevent costly mistakes. With the right guidance, individuals can leave the process feeling empowered and prepared for the next stage of life.
If you’d like to hear more about navigating the financial side of divorce, listen to Divorce Diaries: Lessons from the Trenches at jacobsonfamilylaw.com/podcast. To learn more about Cary Jacobson and her mediation services, visit jacobsonfamilylaw.com. For resources on financial planning during divorce, visit mindfuldivorcepartners.com.