Tis’ the season for Engagement! Deciding to spend the rest of your life with your partner is a big decision. You are committing to building a life with your significant other and that includes starting the marriage off on solid ground. After the celebrations and congratulations, wedding planning begins, along with a hefty price tag for the big day. If approached delicately, chatting about wedding expenses can easily segue into a discussion about individual assets and eventually, a prenuptial agreement.
It’s normal to feel nervous or uncomfortable about discussing individual finances/debts prior to getting married, partly due to the stigma surrounding the word “prenup”. You may be afraid your partner will see you as self-centered, greedy or untrusting when in actuality your intent is to protect yourself AND your partner.
Here are a few tips on how to spark a conversation about a prenuptial agreement:
- Approach the topic as a conversation – Try starting with a discussion about the pros and cons of a prenuptial agreement, that way your partner gets the sense that this is a joint decision rather than a command. Hear your partner out if they have concerns.
- Be direct about your own opinions – While you should listen to your partner’s concerns, your opinion is also important. You can express why your financial independence is important to you or what your feelings are regarding the assets you bring to the marriage without being demanding.
- Stay calm and collected – Money is an emotional topic. Even if you spark the conversation as a mutual decision and respect your partner’s opinions, there is still no telling how your partner may react. If the discussion gets heated, stay calm, this will help your partner maintain a similar emotional state.
- Plan to have the conversation more than once – If emotions are running high during your discussion about getting a prenuptial agreement, put it on hold and come back to it when you both have calmed down. Revisiting the conversation with a clear head is likely to be more productive than trying to has it out all at once.
Setting the tone with a transparent conversation about a prenuptial agreement will likely be beneficial to your marriage in the long run. Regardless of how the conversation ends, following these tips will make your partner feel heard and respected.
If you are engaged to be married or getting re-married and would like to discuss how a prenuptial agreement would be beneficial for you, contact Jacobson Family Law at 443-741-1147 or Schedule an Appointment.