Reaching the conclusion that you are ready for a divorce usually comes after a lot of time and effort trying to make your marriage work and after thoughtful consideration. When you finally realize that you are ready to take the next steps to end your marriage, you might face another challenge when you determine that your spouse isn’t in the same space and doesn’t want to take the next steps. If you are thinking “I’m Ready to Divorce, but my Spouse Isn’t”, you might feel that you are stuck in a cycle where nothing will change and you don’t have any options.
Although you might feel frustration with the situation, it is actually very common for one spouse to be further along emotionally in the divorce process and there are steps that you can take to ensure that the process moves forward as smoothly as possible.
Try to focus on the things that are in your control rather than the emotional aspects of divorce. If your spouse has not come to terms with the end of the marriage, they may try to rehash emotional aspects of your relationship that are not productive in moving forward. Try to avoid those issues and instead focus on the future and what that will look like as you begin living separate and apart.
When you and your spouse are imagining what the future will look like, try to look at the big picture rather than logistics or minor details. Your spouse may be worried about how to accommodate your children’s sports or school schedules with the two of you living in separate spaces, but the logistics will always work themselves out. It would be helpful to think on a broader scale about the amount of time the children would spend with each parent. Focusing on the little things can be counterproductive and slow the process.
Finally, try to understand your spouse’s perspective and how difficult it can be for them to come to terms with the divorce. Although they might have been aware of your feelings, your decision to move forward with divorce can come as a shock for them. Allow them the space and time to process what the divorce will mean for them. It can be helpful to provide your thoughts on how you would like to move forward, but not push them into making decisions they haven’t had time to consider. Also, remind them that you want to keep things amicable, which will save you both time, money, and unnecessary stress.
Jacobson Family Law has had many years of experience dealing with these types of situations and can help guide you through the process of separation and divorce to help you make the best decisions for you and for your family. Contact us today to schedule your consultation to discuss your options if you are Ready for Divorce but Spouse Isn’t.